Pill Day

Eight 'yellers'...these eight little yellow pills are part of my treatment and contain Methotrexate. 

Why so many? 

It's quite clever really, they only dispense one strength so that you can't accidentally overdose yourself or be prescribed the wrong strength....see? 

Clever. 

They look so small and unimportant sitting there as I wait for the Brufen to work it's magic.

The practitioner nurse I see at the hospital has put my dose up from six pills to eight over the last couple of months and every week (I only take this once a week) I dread 'pill day'. 

Why so if it's only once a week Nic? You may well ask. Some people are on  medication that they take all day and night long and they don't make a fuss....

Methotrexate is a brilliant drug and it really does change lives, for some people it can give them back a life that arthritis has taken away. It can make you sick, it can make you feel tired, it can make your hair fall out and give you some very odd dreams! I have had all of these side effects as well as one that is common in *ahem* younger users....I sometimes develop a cold sore a few days after 'pill day' that appears so quickly that it has stunned the few people who have been lucky enough to be near me when it happens! To counteract this and some of the other effects I also take a folic acid supplement for the three days after 'pill day' if I miss a day it's 'hello coldsore!'

I have an allotment, I love spending time there. I keep a load of chickens down there amongst the weeds and recently we acquired a whole load more! Eleven baby chicks, hatched and hand-reared by me and the neighbor (known as Fella on Twitter, yes I'm a tweeter, twaddict, one-of-them...) and because I also have a teenage son, a feisty dog (he's on Twitter too!) a shop and a website to keep an eye on I have to try and work out which day I can afford to have as 'pill day' - I have yet to find the best day. I ask myself these sorts of questions when I'm trying to plan my week.

1) Do I dare risk feeling sick at work? If I need to lie down for a while because I feel so rough will I get the chance to?

2) Is it fair to my family and friends to use one of my days off from the shop as a 'pill day' knowing full well that I won't really be able to do as much as I would like?

3) Is it fair for me to spend the only free time I have feeling sick and even more tired than the arthritis makes me?

I really think that I dread 'pill day' so much because it isn't just one day, it's that day, the day before, the three days after and then before I know it we are back round to the next one. Most of all I hate it because during times of remission (few and far between) it reminds me that I am not 100% well, I will never be like that again and my feet will always hurt...